We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
