you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
