sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I wish you could order shots online.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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