i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize