I need help removing her.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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