Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
