I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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