what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
