had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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