My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
