don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
