Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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