I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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