How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
