His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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