I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
