It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
