Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
