Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
