I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
