I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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