Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
