**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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