dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
