Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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