so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
