are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
