Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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