it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
