go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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