Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
