I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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