margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just gift wrapped bread.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
