when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
