she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
