I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We had to coat check the pizza.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
