I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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