dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
