You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
there's paper in my vomit.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
