She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
