I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
