We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Buhtt sex?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
