I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
