bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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