We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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