It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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