I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
