This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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