as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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