Sponge bath it is.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
