She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize