think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
