making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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