She is in my trunk
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
i out mim tonsoeep
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