good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
