He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
