I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
