i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
